I feel so free

I love the rush.

When I'm with you my fears melt away. My worries disappear. All I see is you.

Hi, My Name Is Colbie

I know, you're probably like, "Woah you blog here?" Yes, I do. It's been a while, a long while, well about 10 days, but to me that's a long while. In those 10 days I had 5 finals, and a 10 page paper due. And if you're all wondering, which I'm sure you are, I rocked those finals and that paper. I can now say I am a sophomore in college. Well kinda, I still have to go to a class on Wednesday but after that I am a sophomore. This freshman year in college has been LIFE CHANGING. AMAZING. INDESCRIBABLE. Yes it was necessary to caps lock those words, because in my head that is how I hear them. Have you ever noticed that when someone, or your self caps locks a word or phrase you actually yell it in your head. Oh wait, maybe that's just me. Cool.

But about those caps locked words up there, that basically sums up these past 9 months. I've found my place, where I am supposed to be for the time being. Sure that might change, but for these next 3 years, possibly 5 with grad school San Jose is my home. Home is where the heart is right? So if I take it literally home is definitely in San Jose, because my heart is in my body and my body is in San Jose. I'm sure you made the connection but I just thought I would clarify that. Anyways, I am happy here in SJ. It's been a journey, a crazy journey to say the least, but I have loved every minute of it. I may not have at some times, but I made it through and I can now look back and say, "Ahh I get it now." 

It's weird. I'm not really sure what to do with myself now that I don't have finals or homework any more. Oh wait summer school starts on MONDAY. I'm technically still in spring school and now summer school too. Oh man. So although the weather may scream summer is here, my schedule does not. Not until July 17. But July is going to be here before I know it. I hope. I have a long summer ahead of me. Don't get me wrong I'm just as excited for summer as the next person, but I have to spend 3 months away from my man. That's a TOTAL bummer. But we're both going to be busy and we get to see each other twice so that's gonna be awesome. Ya I said twice. That's significantly less than the amount of time we see each other now but we'll manage. We, are tough.

Next semester I'm moving off campus with some amazing ladies, and I am SO excited. It's going to be an awesome experience and I can't wait to decorate my room! So lame but I am truly looking forward to it. And having a kitchen. I can't wait for that. So long DC it's been real but it's time for some major menu changes. So if you have any healthy recipes, send them my way! I'm excited to see what God has in store for me with this house and with these ladies. It is going to be a great learning and growing experience.

I am truly blessed. And on that note you now know what's been going on, and what is to come in my life. I've been negligent of this poor blog, so I PROMISE to be better about this. Yep I caps locked it, which means I am screaming in my head to remind myself to be better about this. I caps locked a lot of things in this post. You must think I'm crazy, and I'm kinda beginning to think I might be.

So on that note. Catch ya on the flip side.

I'm astounded.

I'm baffled even. I'm at a complete and total loss for words. Literally. I have run out of thoughts to blog about. I think I can rightfully attribute that to my brain and its degree of friedness. Yes, I said friedness, yes, I made friedness up. Finals, and studying for finals and paper writing. Lots of paper writing. It's all draining me of my capability to write substantially. Instead I'm writing to you about my incapability to write. Awesome. I'm sure this is enjoyable to read.
For me summer will be here in exactly one week, minus the fact that I have to stay up here for my last class 5 days later where I will be doing NOTHING. But hey I'm gonna make the most of it. Besides, I have a lot of packing to do. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this. I've somehow managed to accumulate an extreme amount of clothing since being here, along with an extreme amount of everything else I'm not sure I can fit into all the bags I have. I can't believe my first year of college is almost over. Just like that. Done. It went by so fast!! It's so weird to think about! If every year of my college career is going to be like this its going to go by a lot faster than I thought it was going to. Oh man.

Destination: Unknown

I'm on an incredible journey. A journey with an unknown destination. A year ago I would have told you that my destination was to graduate college and start a life. But, that life, it's already been started. One year ago to the date was my baptism. And since that faithful day that I proclaimed my faith to the world, my life has taken a dramatic turn.

I'm not fearful of what is to come or nervous about my future. I have faith in God that He's got plans for me. I have desires on my heart, and some of them are completely opposite of what I would have said a year ago. I have a longing for things that even a year ago were such far fetched concepts for me. I want to change the world, I want to change lives. I always knew that I wanted to change lives, but I didn't know how. Sure my career will do so, but I want a greater impact. With God, I know how to change lives. All which have stemmed from the changing of my own life. From laying my own life down and realizing that this magnificently wonderful journey I'm on, I am not in control of. I'm living out God's will, not mine and that is what makes this journey so spectacular. I have a lot heading my way, a lot to conquer. Many more semesters of school, and smiles to be had. If one year has made such an impact on my life and dramatically transformed it for the better, think about two years, five years, ten years. This journey that I'm on, it is a life long journey. I know that it's a life long journey of happiness, and struggle, confusion and understanding, but it's a life long journey of Love. When you stop living for yourself, and start living for Him, things change, for the better. I'm on a journey with God and because of God, I'm on a journey with a destination I'm not sure I'll ever reach. It's a continuous, and life long journey.  

My Process of Thought.

Last night we had an impromptu worship session at the Crusade House. It was awesome. Lately I've been so busy with school and work and papers and what not that I haven't had time to really just sit and sing and talk to God. As I was worshiping I just started smiling. I couldn't help it. I am so blessed and so grateful. I can truly see God working in my life and I love it. Sometimes it's hard to pray to God and worship God when you're so happy and everything is going your way. You don't need to ask him for anything and you don't need to comprehend anything so what's the point? If you think about it it's a lot easier to pray to God when you need Him and when you need to hear from Him. But when things are going your way, this is when you need to be near to God the most. This is when you need to thank Him and praise Him the most and be close to Him the most. It's in these times that you can really appreciate the battle and the struggle that it took to get to where you are. I have a lot of reasons to smile, and I have one awesome God to thank for that.


Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
Matthew 22:37

This is my new favorite verse. There is something about it. At least for me, I take it as Love God no matter what, with all you have. Whether you are happy, sad, confused, or whatever, Love God, because He is the reason for your happiness, the reason for your sadness, confusion, and whatever other feeling you have. If you are happy, Love God and thank Him. If you are sad, cling to God and seek him and his reasoning. If you are confused, ask God why. Love God for He is the one in control of your life and He is the one with all of the answers. Yep, that's what I get from this verse. Who knew one verse could spree a whole thought process from me.  

I have a random thought process. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you, this is in fact a true statement. So many people just give me this baffled look. It's easier for me to explain why I say something and how I came to my thought. I can't help it I just have a random brain. I can thank God for that. As you can see just in this post my thought process is everywhere. I started with worship, then my smiling which all led up to my favorite verse and what I get from it, and now I'm on a tangent about my thought process. This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Sweet Dreams

I've got so many thoughts running through my head. Thoughts that have been giving me sweet dreams. I wake up smiling most days lately and can't seem to get enough time with you. I'm cheesy and dorky, and I met someone who is the same compatibility of dorkiness as me. It's awesome. I don't feel like a dork around you, I don't get shy or self conscious or feel like you think I'm weird. We're weird together. I like this feeling. All of our little smiles and quirks and hand shakes and games. I'm just a very happy girl and I know that that is because God has brought you into my life for a reason. I'm thankful for that.